“Unwifeable” by Mandy Stadtmiller
It took me less than 24 hours to finish this book, and by the end of it all, I was crying in my bed. This book touched me in so many ways; to see the resiliency, strength and self love that came from Mandy astounded me. This book is her memoir, and a beautiful one at that. “My story is not unique. Single girl comes to New York; New York eats her alive. But what does stand out is my discovery that you can essentially live a life that appears to be a textbook manual for everything one can do wrong to find love—and still find Mr. Right.” Mandy has written for the New York Times New York Magazine, and xojane. She is also a comedian and writer.
In her memoir, detailing Mandy’s life from being a recent divorcee at the age of 30, moving to the Big Apple to pursue her dreams of being a successful writer, and also living it up as the single gal that she is! Throughout the book, you get a glimpse into the journey of her independence while she navigates the world of dating and self revelation and discovery. She writes about her hilarious adventures, encounters with celebrities, but also includes some really raw and dark moments of her life. As a writer, mostly known for her dating columns; she went into detail about the events of her dating life, which in turn allowed for people to judge her character. She truly started to believe that she was in fact, unwifeable – no one would want to be with her if she couldn’t even love and respect herself. Tired of disappointing herself, getting into dangerous situations because of her drinking problem, and realizing that she has a sex addiction – she decides to take control of her life. Finding a man was never important to her, but when she took the time to take care of herself, she found someone who loved her unconditionally, flaws and all.
I love Mandy’s writing style, she is relatable and adds her comedic flair to the narrative. Because of the lifestyle she lives, especially being a single girl living in New York, her memoir is packed of moments that you can only imagine would happen in the city that never sleeps. She gives us good times and bad times. The reason why I have rated it 4/5 stars is that although the issues are relatable, this is a memoir of a women who lives a lavish lifestyle where most of the narrative is written almost like a TV show – highly glamorous, sex scandals and gossip, etc. It feels more like a made for TV story vs a memoir. I personally enjoy reading memoirs regardless of whether or not I can relate to it, I enjoy being able to get a taste of what it’s like to be in that person’s shoes, and there is always something to take from others experiences and knowledge.
‘Unwifeable’ reminds us that we all fall down sometimes, we may get lost, we may not get things right the first time, but it is never too late to change the trajectory of your life and become someone you love and admire. I have the utmost respect for anyone who is willing to share their journey with others, because we all share in silence the same issues. If you’re looking for a book that’s part Sex and the City and part self help, this is a must-read! This goes out to all the girls, women, boys, men, whoever you are, that life is not a cake walk, but if you work hard to become who you want to be, you will attract the right kind of people into your life and into your heart.
“You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” – Jen Sincero
I want to talk about one of the most inspiring, influential, and real books I have read so far in 2018, and probably ever for that matter: “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero. This memoir talks Sincero’s personal path with the law of attraction and personal growth. She discusses that by changing one’s beliefs and thoughts one can ultimately change the manifestation of their real life. She provides helpful reminders to always love yourself first, and that on the other side of fear — there is love. In order for us to live our most true, authentic lives, we need to take progressive action and belief that we are deserving of the life that we want. The book is structured almost like a guidebook, providing you with tips to become the best version of yourself (note: that person is already within you). It is a honest and raw display of her worries, fears, anxiety triumphing into strength, passion, and success.
Sincero has helped me change my view of the world and of myself in so many ways possible. This is a book that discusses having belief, faith, in not only yourself but in something that is bigger than us all. If you’re religious or not, having faith means to believe in something even if you cannot see it, and having faith in the unknown and trusting that everything will work itself out. I always knew that I was capable of more, I was not destined for a life of mediocrity and settling. No, I knew it deep within my veins that there was a purpose for me – but there was always something holding me back. Doubt? Fear? Laziness? I think it may have been all three of those factors. As the book famously quotes “If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse”, so I took the knowledge that I have learned and applied it. So, after having one of the worst years of my life in 2017, getting out of a bad relationship and being stuck on auto-pilot, I was determined to make 2018 MY year – and I can’t even tell you enough how much of a blessing it has been so far. I cannot reiterate how much you can change your life just by being your most authentic self, whatever or whoever that may be and really not giving a fuck about what others have to say. You will live a life of happiness and success if you just invest your time and energy on you and have total faith. This book has allowed me to let go of things that no longer serve me purpose, or add benefit to my life. It has allowed me to become more mindful, aware, and kind to those around me. It has provided me the insight to be even more grateful for the blessings that I have in my life. In short, this book is a real life changer.
Thank you Jen for your beautiful words, and thank you for giving the world the push they needed in order to showcase the badassery that is within all of us. I would highly suggest this book to everyone out there; this book does not discriminate. It speaks to every single person, no matter your socioeconomic status, your gender, or your background. At the end of the day, we are all humans who all have the same purpose: to love and be loved. And that begins with loving yourself first.